


Scout Car

by benignmilitancy



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Family Fluff, Gen, Humor, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27213883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benignmilitancy/pseuds/benignmilitancy
Summary: There's too much mirth in this garage and not enough elbow grease.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Scout Car

Dad, you ready? Time to put the Tau on the scout car.

_Be there in a minute, honey._

Don't take too long.

 _Just a minute._

Oh, hey, you hear? I forgot to tell you, Cubbage has a new accent now. Apparently it's all the buzz at New Little Odessa.

_What's it this week?_

Three words: vodka and potatoes.

_Lord. That man's got far too much time on his hands._

Indeed, comrade. Mmm. Must install mount, da?

_Don't be mean._

Not mean. Butcher language, that is mean.

_Alyx—_

Father laugh. Da, very good.

_Knock it off, goofball. There's too much mirth in this garage and not enough elbow grease. Roll her in and let's see what we're working with._

Looking good today. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's almost done.

_Yeah, that's what she wants you to believe._

Don't shit-talk your new girlfriend, Dad.

 _Never._

Besides, Mom might hear and knock a can of Pennzoil on your head.

_Not Azi. Didn't have it in her._

Mom never got jealous?

_As she'd say, "I've got better things to do."_

Heh. Props… Was that when you fell for her?

_Well, your mother and I, we were rivals at Harvard. She got better grades than me, 'course, did it without ever cracking open a book. That just drove me up a wall._

Really?

 _Ha, yeah. One day Intro to Comp Sci forced us to work on a project together. Didn't wanna invite her over to my mess of a room, so I took her to study at Pop's diner._

Grandpa Vance's dear old greasy spoon.

_That's the one. Y'know she dipped steak fries in her milkshake? Nasty._

Ew, who does that?

_Well, baby, if she hadn't, I might not've noticed her nails. Bubblegum pink. Lord knows I didn't set out to find 'em cute._

Hopeless.

_Never been back since._

When did Mom fall for you?

_Couple days before the wedding?_

When it was too late to return you, huh?

 _Sounds about right._

I'll bet when she took her vows, she said, "I could do worse."

_Most romantic thing I heard._

Hey, she probably loved you. Probably.

 _I'd like to think so. She adored you, though. You were her little miss._

Yeah?

_If only she could see you now._

Dad… The mount. 

_What about?_

The mount's tilted.

_No, it's not._

You're not bolting it on like that, are you?

_My hand's nowhere near the drill._

Well, good. Could we slide it up some?

_Ah, it's fine like it is—_

That's because you're not looking at it from where I am. See? It's wonky. Gotta push it up, or else the chassis is gonna slump over. Like Barney when Dr. Kleiner starts in on quantum superposition.

_Have some faith in your old man._

Fine, have it your way. But don't come crying to me when your scout car becomes a low rider and Cubbage says, "Mmm, da, gangster car, just rolled in from hood. Where are subwoofers?"

_You get meaner every day, y'know._

Someone's gotta bully you into getting it right, Harvard boy. Now take ten. Get yourself a Coke while I haul this thing up.

_All right, all… Alyx!_

What?

_Use the jack! You'll give yourself a hernia squatting down like that._

No kidding. What've you been feeding this car, anyway? Looks like a skeleton, but she must weigh about five hundred pounds.

_You and your granddad, I swear. He used to prop his Harleys on cinderblocks. Not that you ought to take a page from his book._

Or eat his dust.

_That, too._

Dad?

_Mm?_

Tell me about him.

_Grandpa? He liked to travel. Used to get awful stir-crazy._

And Cat-Cat said, "Nope, you're staying home." 

_Mm-hmm. Couple of months before she left for Sacramento, Grandpa decided to sell the diner and take off cross-country, just him and the open road. He's got the chopper spruced up and ready to go, but he gets halfway to Flagstaff when he calls me in a panic and says he forgot to leave Cat-Cat a note._

It's a wonder she didn't strangle him in his sleep.

_I go, "Man, Pop, you're crazy."_

What did Cat-Cat say?

_"Let him go."_

Really?

 _You gotta understand somethin', baby. This was the fourth or fifth time he'd taken off. She couldn't chase him down anymore, just wanted some peace and quiet at home. She was gettin' kinda tired, I think._

That sounds rough. I'm sorry, Dad.

_They had a long time together. That's all anybody can ask for._

Must be nice to take off whenever you want.

_It was._

Well… I think it's done. Or at least as done as it's gonna be. Let's fire her up and see if she's ready to hit the road.

_And not a moment Tau soon._

Dad!

_Ah, ha. Who's laughing now?_


End file.
